Day 1: Sustainable Classy English Gentleman SWAG

No Impact week has exponentially increased my classy, English gentleman status. Like, OMG so classy. I have monogramed handkerchiefs. They’re monogramed handkerchiefs filled with snot… but it’s classy snot, because I am a classy, sustainable gentleman. Now all I need is a monocle and a top hat. Probably a cane too. I’ll need that for the many  spur of the moment, synchronized musical numbers I’m sure I’ll now be involved in. I could get the monocle, top hat and cane from a thrift shop. Sustainability SWAG! Holla! (Do people still say Holla? Whatever. I just did. It was awesome.)

Something that is not SWAG?  The packaging my classy as h-e- double hockey sticks handkerchiefs (which I will now call nose blankets) came in.  Each package has three fancy, personalized nose blankets and at least an inch of open space. This means means that the cardboard and plastic used to package the nose blankets was way more than needed. Not cool, bro. Not cool.

I also procured a swiss army knife thingy that takes care of the plastic silverware issue when at the beautiful establishment known as Slayter. So along with being a classy, sustainable gentleman, I am now also a rugged gentleman who could possibly take on a bear and win. Or a deer. Same thing. This macho, spontaneous beard growing device was also packaged in a ridiculous amount of plastic and cardboard. Again, not cool.

These two instruments have come in very handy today. Especially, my nose blankets. I wore some old boots today that all of a sudden magically fit (how that happened I have no idea). They ended up giving me a giant blister on my heel. Disgusting and painful. Do not recommend. Anyhoo, being the rugged, classy, sustainable gentleman I am, I improvised by wrapping my nose blanket (it was clean) around my heel, sticking my foot back in the boot and thereby preventing further blistering. And it saved me from throwing away the packaging for bandaids. Holla! (Oh look, I did it again. And it was awesome. Again.)

My biggest problem today was forgetting that I shouldn’t be using napkins. Oops. By dinner I remembered and used one of my nose blankets instead. I also got one of those rice bowl things from Slater that I intend on taking back to my room so I have a reusable container for next time. Score! While I was waiting for my food bowl thing I noticed that there are a ton of bottles in the kitchen area filled with all the oil, curry, vinegar, etc.  they need to cook. Except there weren’t any recycle cans. So, I’m assuming they just throw them out? Observation!

I’m also waiting to go back to my room until my roommates get back so it I’m not the only one using the lights. They’re really slow, so I probably won’t get to go back till 2am. Yay. So excited. Until then Slayter is has become my new home. I’m thinking of bringing a blanket and a pillow so I can take naps in the pit while using shared light. Because I’m cool. That’s why.

Ta ta for now, kids.



One Comment

  1. Hi, your hilarious I laughed through this whole thing. Anyways, OMG totally forgot about the napkins cool thanks for ruining my night now… I used atleast 3 today UGH.
    And not too sure how I feel about the “nose napkins yet”… I give you props for that! I may join you in Slayter one of these nights, I’ll bring blankets. Oh and thanks for making your blog interesting. Mines so boring so you gave me a better idea of how to write. Haha Creative Writing probz 🙂 byebyeee cya tomorrow!

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